"Blame Displacement"

Blame displacement is identified by Ed Friedman in his one of the main symptoms of a chronically anxious system. When organizations or companies respond to challenges in ways that are defensive instead of adventurous a "vacumn" of leadership can ocurr. Chronic anxiety becomes a "hot potato" that gets handed off to whoever will take it. Intead of addressing the underlying emotional dynamics of which the anxiety is a symptom, individuals seek to avoid personal responsibility and place blame elsewhere. A chronically anxious system is the opposite of "the buck stops here" as a policy. The answer is not on placing the blame where it belongs, but rather on each leader taking responsibilty for their own functioning and holding others accountable for theirs.

First, get a million dollars! Then...

I confess a weakness for "pathetically stupid" comedy. Animal House, Naked Gun 2 1/2, National Lampoon's Summer Vacation; you know the type. Even after 20 hears and hearing his jokes again and again, I still find my funny bone especially vulnerable to the humor of Steve Martin as he stands on stage with an arrow through his head.

One of my favorite bits from Mr. Martin involved him being a "success coach" and giving financial advice; "Yes, you too can be a millionaire and NOT pay taxes!" With cavalier confidence, the direction continues - "First, get a million dollars; Then..." It never fails to make me laugh. I think what strikes me as so funny about this is that, in giving his sage advice, he completely glosses over the hardest part.

A lot of advise for leaders found in many of the books and seminars today are like this joke. The "million dollars" - the hardest part of leadership, and the part that takes the longest amount of time is completely glossed over. Most "how to" guides on organizational development completely ignore or at least quickly gloss over the most important quality of a leader - maturity. Without this quality, all the technique in the world will be in vain.

Some things, important things, take time. They are worth slowing down for and cultivating daily over a long period of time.

Once you "get a million dollars; then..."

No Time for Losers?

A friend sent me this Dilbert cartoon last week. At first glance, it appears to depict an insensitive (if not abusive), cynical and close minded boss (read "leader"). The more I looked at it however, the more it struck me as not a bad example of true leadership.

Before anyone wastes their time "flaming" me in this blog, let me state a disclaimer: No employee deserves to be called a "loser." Leadership is not an excuse to be abusive.

With that out of the way let me explain what I see in this vignette by way of true leadership:

1. The leader refused to accommodate to what he considered to be a waste of his time. (it is done in a rather cruel way and we are not given anything worthy that this leader might do with his time).
   
2. The focus isn’t about accommodating the “needs” of others. It is focused on what the leader needs. You can’t lead effectively unless you are squarely focused on YOUR OWN needs. This is the only accurate data you have for feedback. (and the most accurate data you have within this dataset is the information coming from your body) Everything else is guesswork. I don’t advocate for a lack of awareness of the needs of others but I do observe that it presents a focus that pulls the leader out of touch with self and forces them to operate according to their internal “guesswork” of what the other person really needs.
   
3. The leader refused to get caught up in symptoms. (Ok I know this is a stretch but I wat to make the point jus the same.) The needs expressed by others are often not a real needs. They are often symptoms of a deeper need. The leader will not see the “need behind the need” unless he/she is squarely in touch with his/her own needs. Lack of awareness of one’s own needs blinds one to the true needs of others and forces the leader to “chase after phantoms” – symptoms that keep shifting and become like a shell game, never allowing the leader to truly be successful. The leader’s usual response to this is to try harder, to be a better guesser, to be more sensitive. This only feeds the cycle, wastes more energy and further demoralizes the leader. The leader finds himself/herself on a "leadership treadmill" with no way to gain significant ground.
   
4. The actions/decisions of this leader are not reactive to external data. He is internally driven by his own authority. A leader who is focused is likely to be accused of being closed minded.
   
5. This leader cannot be held hostage by having to accommodate the immaturity of others.

Make no mistake about it. Leadership involves perversity!

How will I know?

Leading is about change. Most systems are highly stable (even in their chaotic state) and are notoriously resistant to change. Efforts to change a system is likely to cause reactivity in the system. Leaders experience that reactivity mainly as sabbotage.

How do I know when I am truly leading?

The short answer: "When I can feel the bullets in the middle of my back."

When we are getting sabbotaged as a direct result of our presence, perspectives, postures and practices. THAT'S when I know I am truly leading.

Who is at the door?

The sports health facility where my son and I worked out is part of a larger medical health care complex. Usually, the front door was staffed by one of two retirement-aged men. Each had an obviously different view of his job. We knew this through our regular experiences in interacting with one or the other most mornings. One man rarely looked at us and generally wouldn’t leave his post, a small stand with a stool located near the door, when we approach the entrance. But, we often saw him move toward the doors and open them for medical patients, not health care nuts, who approached to enter or leave. He was never seen to greet anyone personally. The other man was always on his feet, standing near the door, opening it for and greeting everyone who came through. Even us. I’m not a great fan of the “have a nice day” salutation but we heard this from our friend regularly when leaving. These behaviors told us that each man had a markedly different understanding of his job. One man, the first, saw his role as assisting clients through the doors of the facility. This is a noble service as far as it goes. But, the other man believed his mission was to leave all clients with a positive impression of the facility they were entering or leaving. Two men, same “job descriptions”, but remarkably different roles. Trained differently? Probably not. Deeper personal understanding of how to make work satisfying? Clearly so. The organization had some power in effecting these two members saw their jobs. But greater power lay in finding and hiring people who create personal reward behaviors out of any post to which they’re assigned.

The Music is in Me

With todays' focus on data and techniques regarding leadership, I think it is easy to forget the most powerful component of leadership possible - the person of the leader him/herself.

I have a favorite story that is true originating during the Great Depression here in the US. Times were tough and people made money any way they could. There was a gentleman who played the violin beautifully, but no one would pay money to come and see him. In addition to his name he decided to add to his billing, “playing his Stradivarius.” People flocked into the concert hall just to hear his famous violin.

He would begin each concert the same way. He would play a beautiful piece. The crowd was spellbound and in awe at the sound of such a beautiful instrument. Then at the height of their rapture, he would stop playing and smash the violin on the floor. The crowd would gasp in horror at the shocking scene taking place before their eyes.

Then the gentleman would reach into a case and pull out the REAL Stradivarius. In the midst of the great hush that would come over the crowd, he would whisper to the audience.

“Never forget; the music is in me!”