How to kill community

I sat down in the auto service customer waiting room. Three others were there. Two of them were women who talked with each other about local news, Christmas shopping, weather and road conditions. I had brought "Mozart's Brain and the Fighter Pilot" (second time through) and hoped to read some. Of course, there was a television set in the room, but it was turned off. An employee walked in and said, "We've got to get the TV on in here." He found the remote and fired up the box. The easy comfort in the space evaporated. Conversation stopped, reading became more difficult and focus (more like blank stares) turned from people to whatever was passing for news and entertainment. If only one of us had stopped him. We might have kept community going for a bit longer. One of the best pieces of coaching I ever heard was, "You just can't any better watching TV."

Cognitive Hijacking at the Hospital

The Institute for Safe Medication Practices studies doctor road rage in the hospital. The NYT reports; "40 percent of hospital staff members reported having been so intimidated by a doctor that they did not share their concerns about orders for medication that appeared to be incorrect. As a result, 7 percent said they contributed to a medication error...Every nurse has a story about obnoxious doctors. A few say they have ducked scalpels thrown across the operating room by angry surgeons. More frequently, though, they are belittled, insulted or yelled at — often in front of patients and other staff members — and made to feel like the bottom of the food chain."
Are there organizations more loaded up with anxiety than hospitals? These are places where sick people and their worried families hope for life saving help. Emotional triangles are created. And medical personnel, with litte or no understanding of emotional triangles, succumb to the anxiety.

The Lessons of Peter Senge

15 years ago, I became a fan of Peter Senge, through his book, The Fifth Discipline, the Art and Practice of the Learning Organization.
Among the lessons I learned and use in my consulting is today's solutions are usually tomorrow's problems.
Like this;

http://blogs.tnr.com/tnr/blogs/environmentandenergy/archive/2008/11/25/the-flex-fuel-fiasco.aspx

The future for non-anxious leadership

Overparenting posses a threat to the development of future non-anxious leaders.
New Yorker's Joan Acocella reviews “A Nation of Wimps: The High Cost of Invasive Parenting” by Hara Estroff Marano, an editor-at-large at Psychology Today.
Money quote: Overparented students who avoid or survive college meltdowns are still impaired, Marano argues. Having been taught that the world is full of dangers, they are risk-averse and pessimistic. (“It may be that robbing children of a positive sense of the future is the worst form of violence that parents can do to them,” she writes.) Schooled in obedience to authority, they will be poor custodians of democracy. Finally—and, again, she stresses this—their robotic behavior will threaten "American leadership in the global marketplace".

The Car Guys

The auto CEOs traveled in their corporate jets to D.C. Imagine those corporate PR group meetings where the appearances were planned. Some brave soul probably thought and maybe even said - at some risk - "It would look awful if the boss went to Washington in the G-4. Let's suggest he fly commercial." The thought was either unspoken or shot down. "Who'se going to tell him to do that? Not me!" Fast forward to the review meetng after the boss returned. There was surely hell to pay.
Anxious organizations are gridlocked. Clear thinking, problem solving and courageous speaking are casualties. Thinkers stop thinking. Unless leaders in the auto industry learn to calmly face their own reality, financial success is unlikely.

Philadelphia

My wife, my sister and her husband and I are starting a new ritual; travel somewhere interesting together. We visited Philadelphia over a recent weekend. I have traveled extensively, but I had never seen the Liberty Bell or Independence Hall and Square. As we stood in the room where our country was born I was deeply affected by the space and the contemplation of what happened there. A few days later I voted in the presidential election. There's an incredible line of connection between the room in Philadelphia and the polling place in my little town in Minnesota.

Fear Factor Flu

It's spreading. (See our Healing Leaders Newsletter dated 10/9/2008.) A recent workshop, containing material on how to manage anxiety, experienced a dramatic drop in registered attendance. Those pulling out gave as one reason; "I've got to put the time into selling a couple more deals. They might be the last deals I'll do."

Warren E. Buffett writes, "A simple rule dictates my buying: Be fearful when others are greedy, and be greedy when others are fearful". I suggest a modification. Don't be fearful. Others are.

A Call for Guts

"Our future depends more on cultivating courage than goodness. Preaching generosity and cooperation won't get us there"(a wider cultured future). "Evidence-driven thinking about the real challenge of our species--cultivating gutsiness--is a first step toward the world almost everyone wants". (Frances Moore Lappe).
Well, maybe not everyone "wants" such a world. But, it's in front of us whether we want it or not. Gutsiness finds its origins in mature, non-anxious and rational approaches organized in the neo-cortex.

Tichy and Bennis

"After a five-year study of leadership covering virtually all sectors of American life, we came to the inescapable conclusion that judgment regularly trumps experience.
Our central finding is that judgment is the core, the nucleus of exemplary leadership. With good judgment, little else matters. Without it, nothing else matters."

- Warren Benis and Noel Tichy, "Judgment: How Winning Leaders Make Great Calls"

Limbic Hijacking

In my daily living circles are those with whom disagree on the "Big American Issues". I know this by seeing political stickers on cars parked outside buildings where I am interacting with the owners of those cars. I overhear conversations between acquaintances who disagree on choices for president. I engage in conversations with others about our government's decisions and actions in response to current economic problems. But, none of these interactions is volatile, nor filled with anger, threats and abuse. I might feel discouraged, disappointed or even a littled pissed off. But, I never feel unsafe in these conversations. Contrast this to the rage we hear expressed from members of audiences during political speeches. The vitriol borders on insanity. Maybe it's already across the border. I worry less about these expressions of rage and more about the limbic brain hijacking these behaviors reflect.

Circular "Thinking"

The blog of unnecessary quotation marks http://quotation-marks.blogspot.com/ is on a mission to spot and report quotes abuse. Posters and commenters on the blog often wonder what the quote user really meant. [P&H popcorn is "proudly" served here. Evidently it is sold with or without pride.]
Thinking becomes "thinking" when it goes in circles. Founders of a start up meet regularly to do the heavy mental lifting needed to get their enterprise off the ground - to get to the starting line. Their meetings are circular. Participants chew up valuable time reviewing what is already known or diving into tactical minutiae. Inevitably, talk returns to the subject's beginning and reviewed all over again. It's circular. Thinking is replaced by "thinking". Progress stalls and the starting line disappears into the future. Unbending the circle into a straight line moves things forward.

Those who apply themselves too closely to little things often become incapable of great things. --Francois de la Rochefoucauld

Where's Imagination?

I sat through a presentation given by the city administrator in the town where I live. My city has undertaken a downtown renewal project. The first architect's drawings are available for public viewing. The presenter showed the drawings as he talked of green spaces, renewed retail space and improvements for the culture and civic center venues. I am often more interested in reading the reactions of those around me in such circustamces. Those in the room paid respectful attention to the presentation but the reactive energy was low. A few polite questions about plan details ("Where's building so-and-so"?) were the sum of interaction. Then, it dawned on me. Words like "imagination", "creativity" and "vision" were missing. The speaker spoke with neither passion nor joy. The presentation had no power. It was uninspired and uninspiring. Certainly there is tremendous worry, anxiety and stress associated with such a project.
As anxiety goes up, creativity and imagination decline. If project stress trumps imagination, this project might not get very far.

Brutal Honesty - "Do I Look Fat in this?"

There is a trend in the workplace where the leadership is encouraging and even inviting "brutal honesty" as a means of communication. These "C-level" executives announce to their management and staff that they want brutal honesty in their communication in the workplace. This invitation is on the same level as a wife who turns to her husband and says, "Do I look fat in this dress?"

As open as this invitation sounds, I find this incredibly naive. It fails to recognize the power differential that exists between the parties communicating. How is someone who's life and livelihood is dependent upong somone in power over them being pleased with them ever going to be able to rise to that level of honesty? What is even more naive is when these executives assume that since they "gave permission" for people to speak honestly (no, this does not mean you won't lose your job) that the feedback they are getting is open and honest. They stay in the dark and operate blindly without know what is going on in the trenches. Truth is not so easily teased out of a situation; especially when power and control are present.

My 78 year old mother put it succinctly. "We invite brutal honesty of all employees...and we get to be the brutes."

Culture of Interruption

Among the signs of high anxiety in groups is the freqency with which members interrupt each other. I belong to a service club board where meetings are driven by interruptive behavior. By my unscientific count, fewer than half of questions or statements begun by any one member in the group are finished. I once began a question by asking the group to allow me to complete it. I was interrupted. A few minutes later, another member of the group asked if I thought my question had been answered. As I began to reply, someone else interrupted.
This group is not well led. Its leader is the chief interrupter. Members have learned meeting-by-interruption is the norm. Group members arrive at the meetings appearing harried, frazzled and sometimes late. I estimate the group's overall performance is about half of its potential.
I am considering leaving the group and using the time in less anxoius ways.

Where's the Dog Whisperer?

Cesar Milan, the popular television star, trains pet owners. He teaches owners to project a calm and assertive presence toward their animals. The unruly pets respond dramatically. Their neuroses evaporate. They calm down, become obedient and may even be grateful for the presence of pack leadership. Owner-pet teamwork flourishes. Milan ought to expand his practice. Leaders in congress could use his training.

Cycle of Angst

The morning after the congressional $700 billion bail out bust, Associated Press writer Andrew Taylor wrote, "Two cities joined Monday in a mutually reinforcing cycle of angst and fear that shook the nation's political and financial foundations and sent the Dow spiraling into its worst one-day loss." While Taylor doesn't explain how the cycle of angst and fear (in Washington D.C. and New York City) actually worked, the capitol was a laboratory of illustration.
Lawmakers, resonsible for making a clear and rational decision on a critical issue created instead opportunities to give and receive offense from and to each other.
Given the behaviors, we can have no confidence that non-anxious and calm leadership was used to explore, consider, think through and act on a best course.

Every Ten Minutes

A good friend, a music teacher, and I were talking about the need for improvisation in the classroom. He describes public education administrators as rigid formula-following folks who advocate the use of processes often dreamed up in someplace other than the local classroom.
My friend mentioned a conversation he had with an administrator who asked him, "How often do you modify your cirriculum"? My friend's answer, "Every ten minutes". It wasn't the answer the administrator expected. The standard frequency is about four times during the school year.
But, the music teacher understands the fluidity of the learning/teaching moment and how he must continuously adjust his environment to make learning happen for his students.

Plan on more anxiety

I had a conversation with a bright woman who runs an important and successful community theatre. She had invited a group supporting a state referendum measure to use the facility for their mission advocating for a particular vote. Another user of the facility was offended and angered. She called the decision "inappropriate". My friend was managing her own disappointment at the reaction but remained confident of her decision on behalf of activism. Later, I wrote her an email, a portion of which stated, "The sabotage and resistance you get to this sort of thing has absolutely nothing to do with the correctness of your decision. It has everything to do with the current state of peoples’ anxieties. Expect this condition to worsen around you before it gets better. Anxiety inviting phenomena are growing around us. Your best response is to remain confident enough of your position so that you refuse to enter into others’ fears about whatever they are fearful about".
Things are scarey. They're getting scarier. Resist the powerful pull to join others in their deepening anxieites about their lives.